Back to Lautoka

I arrived Fiji safe and sound, but my last few days have been quite the roller coaster ride. While I was in Kona, I was told that one of my biggest strongholds (spiritual weaknesses that I am vulnerable to) is fear that leads to apathy...and for the first time ever, I experienced that in full force! I have no idea why i was so scared...so being scared made me more afraid...and the fear compounded until I was so scared that I cared about nothing. It is hard to find alone time...especially since the building is required to always be locked(to prevent intruders). God has made it clear that I am to be here now, and my (limited) alone time has been good. I have had a few people pray over me(and many more unknown praying for me) and God has spoken comforting words to me....well....more comforting than not. Basically He has told me that He is going to smooth out my anxiety, not take it away(whatever that means).

Good news on my health though: I was working at a medical clinic yesterday and today, and yesterday at the end of the day, I went to get my ear checked out, and she pulled out the largest piece of earwax i have ever seen! I was going to post a picture, but it was way grosser than my pink eye. So she flushed my ear out with warm water for a while and it gradually loosened and came out. This was why i have been getting dizzy, why I have had headaches, why i was having trouble hearing and why my ear made noise like a speaker cutting out from time to time. The medicine is really strong and makes me REALLY drowzy, yet I woke up just fine, so no hangover(as was expected).

thanks for the prayers...it's truly a battle in my mind right now...pray that I have the endurance to fight and not be too tired to love at the end of the battles.